In every society, culture and human behavior act as deep undercurrents that shape daily life, influencing personal decisions and institutional structures. In Pakistan, these cultural norms and behaviors are particularly pronounced, embedded in family dynamics and work environments, societal interactions, and governance structures. The issue of dependency—whether on family, community, or state—pervades across various spheres, creating an environment where autonomy and initiative are often sacrificed for comfort or fear of failure. This pattern of behavior reflects a deeper cultural ethos that limits personal and collective growth, restricting opportunities for innovation and self-reliance.

Family Dependency

One striking trait of our society is the familial structure, where individual autonomy is often surrendered for collective familial dependence or personal comfort. It is not uncommon for young adults, particularly men, to often delay their pursuit of independent livelihoods, relying on the financial security provided by their parents or elder siblings.

A reflection of this behaviour can be seen in a recent interaction between a well-off family and their 27-year-old youngest son with a senior civil servant who was requested to guide their son in preparing for the CSS examination. Despite having completed his education four years prior, and married for three years, the son was unemployed by choice. The Family’s wealth, coupled with the son’s desire for an ideal government job, allowed him the luxury of deferring career decisions for four years, insulated from the economic pressures that typically drive individuals to enter the workforce. This interaction reflects a broader cultural tendency where comfort and familial safety nets precede personal ambition and autonomy.

This phenomenon is culturally rooted in the strong family ties and hierarchical structures that define many Pakistani households. The youngest son, for example, is often treated by the family as less responsible for contributing financially or administratively, while elder siblings or parents carry the economic burden and manage the social and administrative side of the household. In these circumstances, financial and career stability is not seen as a product of individual achievement but rather as an intergenerational safety net that allows many to avoid the risks associated with seeking autonomy.

Avoiding Responsibility at the Workplace

In a culture where mistakes are stigmatized and failures harshly criticized, individuals frequently avoid taking on tasks that require independent judgment.

The same pattern extends into professional environments. In many of our offices, employees often shy away from decision-making roles, fearing the personal and professional risks associated with responsibility. In a culture where mistakes are stigmatized and failures harshly criticized, individuals frequently avoid taking on tasks that require independent judgment. The result is an organizational culture where hierarchy rules over an initiative. Decision-making becomes concentrated at the top, while lower-level employees focus on maintaining the status quo rather than seeking innovation or solutions.

This behavior is symptomatic of a societal fear of failure—a reluctance to step outside one’s comfort zone due to the risks involved. When individuals are not encouraged or rewarded for taking responsibility, they naturally opt for safer paths, often leaving critical decision-making to others. This undermines organizational efficiency and curtails opportunities for leadership development, ultimately stunting growth on both a personal and institutional level.

Societal Dependency and Lack of Initiative

This cultural inclination toward dependency extends beyond the family and workplace into broader societal dynamics. In many communities, there is a noticeable trend where people prefer to seek help from others rather than take the initiative to improve their circumstances.

Here I am sharing a heartbreaking case of a family of an acid survivor girl to build on the conversation (not mentioning their names and location for privacy). After the horrific attack, the girl’s family was supported by a compassionate civil servant and a nonprofit organization in navigating through the nerve-wracking and complex justice sector procedures and in filing the First Information Report (FIR) against the perpetrator, who was eventually arrested following a thorough police investigation. They also arranged for the daughter’s plastic surgery and provided vital psychosocial support to help her rebuild her life.

However, the challenge for the survivor’s family didn’t end with justice being served. The perpetrator’s family started using social pressure, forcing them to take the case back. This time, the family sought the help of the same nonprofit to help them relocate from the village for a fresh start. The nonprofit organization arranged the family’s relocation and additional financial aid to help them settle into their new life. Yet, months later, the family returned, asking to arrange regular financial assistance for them. While the trauma they endured is undeniable, this case highlights a growing tendency toward dependency. Individuals, despite being helped multiple times, often avoid taking the initiative to work towards self-reliance. It reflects a larger cultural pattern, where immediate aid is sought repeatedly without efforts to break free from dependency or take control of their circumstances.

This dependency is not limited to families in distress. In many households, domestic helpers frequently seek financial assistance beyond their regular wages, relying on their employers to cover costs such as medical bills, education fees for their children, and transportation expenses to visit their native villages every now and then. Although these needs are genuine, the recurring nature of such requests points to a broader societal behaviour – the reliance on others for financial security rather than striving for self-sufficiency. This pattern is symptomatic of a cultural mindset that prefers immediate relief over long-term planning, with many individuals finding it easier to depend on others rather than developing a strategy for long-term sustainability.

National Dependency: A Reflection in Policy

Looking at the broader picture, these behaviors are mirrored at the national level, where external dependency has long defined Pakistan’s economic model. The country frequently turns to international donors, lending institutions, and foreign governments for financial assistance, failing to develop a sustainable economic strategy prioritizing self-reliance to reflect this culture on a larger spectrum. Like the individuals who defer responsibility, the government consistently avoids the difficult but necessary reforms that would make the economy less dependent on foreign assistance and self-reliant by strengthening local industry and agriculture, improving human capital, and transitioning from an import-dependent system to an export-driven model. This reliance on foreign aid and loans mirrors the personal and societal tendencies toward dependency, with long-term growth sacrificed for short-term security.

Cultural and Psychological Enablers of Dependency

Several factors enable and perpetuate these behaviors. At the personal and family level, strong familial ties discourage individuals from seeking autonomy, as economic security is often seen as a shared responsibility within the family unit. Cultural expectations also play a significant role, with certain family members (usually the youngest or those in less critical roles) being shielded from economic pressures. This arrangement creates comfort zones that discourage the pursuit of autonomy.

At the societal level, limited access to education and resources, combined with deeply ingrained class structures, prevent individuals from developing the skills or confidence necessary to pursue independent livelihoods. The cultural stigma around failure also plays a major role in discouraging risk-taking, as societal judgment is often harsh on those who fail.

At the government level, the lack of long-term planning, combined with political instability, prevents the implementation of sustainable policies. Like the individuals it governs, the government avoids making difficult decisions, preferring to rely on external economic support rather than undertaking comprehensive reforms that may have initial economic or political costs.

The Way Forward to Encourage Autonomy and Accountability

Addressing these deeply entrenched behaviors requires a three-pronged approach focusing on cultural change, education, and policy reforms. At the family level, parents and elders must encourage younger family members to take responsibility for their future. Economic independence should be valued, and the idea of comfort through dependency must be challenged. Education, both formal and informal, plays a critical role in this shift, as it can provide young people with the skills and confidence necessary to pursue autonomous livelihoods.

In the workplace, organizations should foster a culture of responsibility by encouraging employees to take ownership of their work. Rewarding initiative and reducing the stigma around failure are essential to developing a dynamic and innovative workforce. Training programs and mentorship can further support individuals in taking on leadership roles, fostering an environment where decision-making is seen as an opportunity rather than a risk.

At the societal level, efforts must be made to build self-sufficiency through community development programs focusing on education, skills training, and strengthening the entrepreneurial ecosystem. Encouraging citizen inclusion in decision-making will foster a sense of empowerment and reduce the culture of reliance on others.

Finally, at the government level, the state must prioritize long-term strategies that reduce dependence on foreign assistance for social and economic development. By investing in education, infrastructure, and local industries, the government can foster an economy driven by domestic production and exports rather than imports and loans. Policy reforms should focus on creating a stable economic environment that encourages innovation and self-reliance.

The culture of dependency that pervades Pakistani society, from family dynamics to national governance, reflects deeper behavioural and cultural patterns that limit personal and collective growth. By fostering a culture of autonomy at every level of society, from individuals to institutions, the country can break free from the cycle of dependency and build a future based on self-reliance, innovation, and sustainable development.

About the Author: Asif Farooqui is the Director of Programs at the Accountability Lab Pakistan, and can be reached at asif@accountabilitylab.org